First snow

Today was the first snow fall of the season here in Eastern Idaho, and although it was FREEZING! I was so glad to see the snow.

In a literary sense winter is the "death" of seasons and I started thinking that just because the leaves fall from the trees and the flowers die off because of the cold and get covered in snow doesn't mean that the rest of us should die down.

I know I'm not going to let this season get me down, I'm just starting a new life and I can't wait to see what is in store for me. I'm determined to be a better person and to grow from all the hurt and pain, I will bloom despite the cold, bitter winter. Through this divorce I have felt that I've been, for the most part, level headed and very upbeat. I haven't let the pain get to me.

I won't lie the 1st few weeks after getting that news I was a broken mess, all I wanted to do was cry and I kept wondering to myself, "how am I going to get through this?" I kept hating that my grandma wasn't here to help guide me through like she did with everything else. But now I've started to realize that I've had to be the one to step up and take ahold of my life and lead the way.

I stopped drinking, I started going to the gym, I started putting myself first. My needs, my wants, my feelings, my happiness all came before everything else.

Good things are coming my way, and I'm working hard for everything I'm getting and receiving. My life is going the way I want it to go, and it's not revolving around anyone else's wants or needs.

I've learned a lot about myself these past few months, and some of it I didn't like and some of it I do like. I have to constantly step back and ask myself, "is this something that is going to benefit you or hurt you?" and when I evaluate the situation I can adjust accordingly.

So just because it's the beginning of winter, the cold won't get me down.

xoxo
-S