Why are you a teacher?

Let me first start off with this video... I saw this a few years ago in an education class at Austin Peay. It really inspired me and I was convinced that teaching is what I truly wanted to do with my life. The passion and the drive I have pushed me to finish my degree and pursue teaching.

I have been asked why I chose education as my career because according to some of the people around me, it's not a well respected job because parents don't respect teachers and students don't either. I also get "well those students are just going to love you aren't they?" I have been slightly peeved about this comment. When I first accepted the job in Blackfoot people would say, "well at least it isn't high school because the boys would be all over you." I would laugh and shrug it off, but now that I am officially teaching at Pocatello High School the hot for teacher comments have become the center of my career. I understand that I am 24 and an attractive person. What kills me is that the people making these comments to me are close to me, I feel disrespected. How can you think so low of me that my students are going to just see me as a piece of ass, and not respect me because I am attractive. Do you not think I am capable of shutting that kind of behavior down if it does happen? Why do you think I'd be that teacher to sleep with my students? These are the questions that float through my mind when nasty comments come flying out of peoples mouths when I tell them I am a high school teacher.

I know I shouldn't be allowing these comments to get at me, and for the most part the comments aren't what bother me. It's the people that are making these comments that bother me. I am confident in my ability as an educator, I know what I've just stepped into and if I didn't I wouldn't have chose this career. I have known for a long time that this is what I wanted to do, and now the door has opened and I will be walking into the high school that I graduated from and teaching the future generation of Poky graduates.

I have officially been assigned 9th grade English. I am one of 3 9th grade teachers in the department, and I have my master teacher, Mrs. Holzer, guiding me through. I am so fortunate to be able to teach in the school that inspired me to become a teacher and continue on with my education. I am going in today to get my classroom and my books! I am over the moon and will have a classroom tour as it get closer to the school year. Can you believe that in a little over a month I will be in my classroom every day!? How crazy! I am so excited!

I decided to become a teacher for a few reasons: one, when I was at Poky I felt at home. I had a rough home life and so school was my escape. The teachers I had were amazing and helped me through my senior year as I was living by myself with no parental support. The staff became my support and pushed me to finish and continue on. Second, Mrs. Holzer inspired me to become an educator. I learned more in her classes than I ever did in others. She is so passionate, maybe a little crazy sometimes, but she pushed her students to their absolute best! That is what I want to do. I want to make a difference in my students lives so that when they walk out of my classroom they will be grateful that they took that class from me. I didn't become a teacher to be that "hot teacher" that all the students want to have despite what people seem to think. I became and educator because it is the most valuable and most rewarding job there is, in my opinion.

So here is to my first year as an educator in the school that pushed me to succeed!

xoxo

It's SUMMER

So since its almost OFFICIALLY summer, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and show you guys some of my favorite things I have accumulated that fit PERFECTLY with summer vibes... Well some of it does.

So numero uno most favorite thing is the new Becca and Jaclyn Hill collab! This face palette is TO DIE FOR! I have recently become a crazy obsessed make up junkie. I watch Youtube every single morning. I have my favorites, and watch all things make up as I eat my breakfast and sip on my Matcha. The palette is so pigmented and the highlight is on FLEEK! I paid a slight bit more than I should have to get it, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do for a flawless highlight, right?

2. )rganic matcha powder. I am obsessed! I feel so energized and focused throughout the hot days! I seriously can't stop drinking it! Thank you Kathleenlights! It tastes so refreshing and keeps me hydrated! Ugh I just can't.

3. Too Faced Sweet Peach Palette! I stalked Ulta for WEEKS to get my little hands on this palette! It smells and tastes like PEACHES! It's seriously amazing, the color collection in the palette is freaking amazing. All sorts of summery colors!

4. Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer... just let me say I could literally eat this bronzer because it smells like a pina colada. Like O.M.G! It is so buttery and glides right onto my skin and gives me a nice bronzed look. I LOVE it! It's super cheap and it smells amazing! If I could have just the smell all the time I'd be good with that too!

5. Baseball cap from The Paperdoll. On days when I am a lazy butt and don't want to wash my hair I put this on and go. I love to wear it to the gym, to the dog park, to work, just about everywhere. It saves me and keeps the sun off my face! If you haven't gotten one... you need to.

6. Aviators! They can be dressed up, or down. Seriously I found these at Rue 21 for 5.99 and they were having a sale where you buy one get a pair for 2$ so you know I jumped on that! I'm obsessed with all things gold, so these were a perfect addition!

7. Finally, my ABCTE binder and Rookie Teaching for Dummies book. First off, I know that homework isn't so "summer vibey" but I love learning about teaching! I am so excited to get into my classroom! The for dummies book is HILARIOUS and weirdly super helpful. The author really puts everything into perspective and doesn't sugar coat any of it. I ordered it on amazon for like .98 cents. and boy am I glad that I did cause I LOVE it!

So in connection to my last favorite, I have a bit of an update from my last post. I was hired in Blackfoot in the Chartered middle school and I was so excited about being able to teach there. However, I had a bit of an opportunity fall into my lap... A few weeks ago the teacher that inspired me to become and English teacher got ahold of me and told me that Pocatello High School had an opening and that she wanted me to come in and interview with her and the principal the next morning. So of course I totally did! I honestly was not expecting much because I am a brand new teacher, so I interviewed and Lisa, the principal, told me that she had to keep the position open and had to interview people that applied and if someone came along that was more qualified and experienced that she would have to give it to them. So of course I told myself I wasn't going to get it. Well a week later Lisa called me.... I GOT IT! So I have resigned from my position in Blackfoot and accepted the position at Pocatello High School as their new freshman English teacher!

I seriously cannot even explain how incredibly blessed I am to be able to have this opportunity! Mrs. Holzer will be my mentor and I am so excited to learn from her! I was not expecting this change, but I LOVE IT! It made my summer! Now I won't have to commute to Blackfoot, I can literally walk to work. I get to teach with my favorite teacher, and I get to educate kids in the same school that I was educated in! When they say Poky pride never dies, they don't lie.

So now that I have detoured from the original reason of this post I will circle around. All of my Summer faves will be around for far longer than just summer, but these items are staples in my life at the moment!

Until next time...
xoxo

Ms. Teacher Lady

I'm so excited to announce that I am officially employed as a middle school teacher at Blackfoot Community Charter Learning Center in Blackfoot, Idaho!! I signed my contract yesterday and attended my first professional development. It was so much fun! It's been quite the journey to get where I am today.

When I graduated in 2010 from high school, I literally had no clue what I was going to do with my life. I had been accepted to an interior design school in San Diego and I was so excited about it! However, I had no resources to get there or even attend because the tuition was outrageous and I had very little parental involvement. I wasn't speaking to my mom at the time and my Grandma couldn't help me either, so I was stuck in a hard spot. I ultimately decided to go to Walla Walla Community College in Walla Walla Washington while I figured my life out. That didn't go well and so I ended up moving again and again and again. I got married, got divorced and ended up back at Idaho State.

Over the last two weeks, when I have a few moments to reflect between all the papers, I have been thinking about everything I have done and sacrificed for this Bachelors degree I'm about to be awarded in exactly 7 days. I have sacrificed multiple romantic relationships, including my marriage, and multiple friendships to finish out my degree. I wouldn't take any of it back for anything in the world. However, I know what I have sacrificed and gave up in order to achieve this. I am incredibly proud of myself for pushing through all of the ups and downs. I'm glad I chose the profession I did because being in my school yesterday and discussing my lesson plans and teaching methods, I know this is what I am suppose to do.

I started my ABCTE stuff this morning and set my goals for everything. I am aiming at having my exams completed by September 1st, 2016. I will be working my butt off this summer to accomplish this. Along with creating my lesson plans, and finding my textbook and presenting it to my principal AND working at the golf course. Who said teachers get summers off?

I wouldn't change sacrificing my summer for this! I am so stoked to get going and especially decorating my classroom, once it's built ha! Currently my school is constructing more classrooms and a gym for the kids. My classroom is currently under construction so I don't get to see it until probably August. The best part of it all is that I'll be doing all this work and my contract doesn't start until September, so I'll be working for free! It'll all be worth it!

Ms. Heinz sounds so weird and it's gonna take awhile to get use to the sound of it. I'm so excited to have my own classes! I'll be teaching 6th, 7th and 8th grade English and Language Arts. I honestly can't put into words how excited and blessed I feel to be able to be an educator. My principal is amazing and my fellow faculty members are awesome and hilarious! The level of collaboration at this school is unreal and I think that's what I'm most excited for, intertwining the disciplines! I will be staying in Pocatello, and just commuting everyday maybe carpooling with some of the other teachers that live in Pocatello as well. Ek! I'm so stoked for this opportunity! I am also in charge of the Professional development for next year and implementing something similar to the 5 love languages with the staff and the students. So add that on top of my workload this summer!

Ultimately, I am so excited for this job and I can't wait for graduation next week!

xoxo

Best friends and baby fever

Two weeks ago my best friend, Rylie, gave birth to my newest niece MaggieMae Johanna Borstelman. She is beautiful and perfect in every way, and I was able to experience every moment of Rylie's labor and birth with her. MaggieMae was born April 8th, 2016 at 5:09 P.M after 24 hours of labor she was 21 inches long and 8lbs 1 oz.

Rylie and I have been best friends since kindergarten. I went to Jefferson Elementary the first half of kindergarten until my family moved into the Lewis and Clark neighborhood. I transferred to Lewis and Clark, I remember being so scared because I didn't have any friends. As the class sat down to story time two girls were sitting on the other side of the group staring at me. They started to scoot closer to me and I had no idea what to think. They sat by me and welcomed me into their group, and that was that. From that day forward Rylie was my best friend. We did everything together, people even now mistake us for twins or sisters! In 5th grade we went school shopping together in Idaho Falls and got a few of the same outfits and would call each other and coordinate our outfits. We were so silly. In junior high we ended up at different schools and kind of lost touch. In high school we didn't talk much, but after graduation we reconnected and it was like nothing ever changed. To this day she is my best friend.

So in August she text me and said she was back in town, she had been a traveling gypsy for the last year and a half, so I was so excited to see her! When we got to Sumisu I asked her why she was back in town and so calm, she told me she was pregnant. I was so over the moon about it! From that day I was in love with that little peanut. Rylie had a gender reveal party, I'm pretty sure I was the only one that didn't know Maggie was a girl haha! And I made all of her cloth diaper, and let me tell you it was such a pain but SO worth it!

So fast forward a very fast 9 months. Rylie's due date was April 7th. So for the two weeks prior I was texting her everyday asking how she was feeling and if baby was gonna come today. Finally on her due date she text me and Victoria and said that her contractions were 40 minutes apart but not strong. The night around 10 Victoria and I headed up to her mom's to hang out while she labored. Rylie labored through the night like a freakin' champ! 8A.M rolled around and her contractions started getting more intense so we headed to the hospital. After getting settled into the room we waited. Things were moving along, we were walking up and down the hall to get her to dilate. Amilia, the doula, suggested she get in the bath. This was probably around 2. This helped things move along, it hurt to hear her move through the contractions because I'm sure they didn't feel good. But I knew she was going to do this, keep in mind she did this all natural. She wanted a natural birth and thats what she got! I walked into the bathroom and she was in the tub and said something didn't feel right. So they got her out she laid on the bed and it was time for MaggieMae to make her appearance.

It went so fast! 4 big pushes and one lioness roar later and Rylie gave birth to Maggie! It was such a wonderful and touching experience. I bawled! She was perfect in every way! I was so glad to have been there.

So many emotions rushed over me, when I got home that night I was exhausted. Physically and most of all, emotionally. I was happy, excited, over the moon, and sad. The sadness confused me because it was such a joyous day a new, beautiful, perfect baby was brought into this world and I was able to witness and support Rylie through it all. I was sad because I may never be able to have that chance and I felt guilty because of that. However, the happiness I felt overpowered the sadness.

I tell Rylie weekly how grateful I am that she allowed me to share that moment with her. Because it was truly a beautiful experience. Words will never explain how grateful I am. I have an overwhelming love for both Rylie and MaggieMae.

XOXO

The big "A" word

Let's get down and dirty shall we?
A N X I E T Y
I have anxiety, most days it's not bad and other days it's so bad I can't function. Certain things trigger it like bad memories, sounds that are correlated with those bad memories, and smells. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. My parents divorced when I was young and my first memories are of them fighting. After the divorce my mom remarried, and I despised her new husband (Still kind of do). After my mom remarried my dad passed away, and some other things I don't feel comfortable sharing happened. So everything piled on top of each other made me anxious about everything. I was never aware how severe the anxiety was until my Grandma got sick. It was around this time 4 years ago that she got sick and I remember having my first severe anxiety attack. Since then, I've had attacks frequently.
I went to the doctor after I got married and they prescribed me medicine to help with the symptoms, like feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest, my fingers go numb, and I get really foggy. The meds made me numb, I couldn't feel anything, I was boarder line depressed. I hated taking them, but I did because I was afraid that my anxiety would ruin my marriage if I didn't take them. Keep in mind I was taking these "in the closet." He had no idea. After the divorce I stopped taking them and I finally was able to feel, all of the feelings from the divorce, my grandmas death, everything.
I haven't been on meds in over a year. Anxiety rules my life, I live with it all day everyday. There is no cure, all I can do is talk myself down if I can bring awareness to it. The biggest issue is that not many people know what it is or how to respond to it. Anxiety has such a bad rap, there is one person who understands it. I rely on her for comfort in times of high anxiety and she does me. No one understands how debilitating it is, because many people have never had to experience it.
Anxiety will never leave my life. I wish more than anything I could rid myself of this.

xoxo