First snow

Today was the first snow fall of the season here in Eastern Idaho, and although it was FREEZING! I was so glad to see the snow.

In a literary sense winter is the "death" of seasons and I started thinking that just because the leaves fall from the trees and the flowers die off because of the cold and get covered in snow doesn't mean that the rest of us should die down.

I know I'm not going to let this season get me down, I'm just starting a new life and I can't wait to see what is in store for me. I'm determined to be a better person and to grow from all the hurt and pain, I will bloom despite the cold, bitter winter. Through this divorce I have felt that I've been, for the most part, level headed and very upbeat. I haven't let the pain get to me.

I won't lie the 1st few weeks after getting that news I was a broken mess, all I wanted to do was cry and I kept wondering to myself, "how am I going to get through this?" I kept hating that my grandma wasn't here to help guide me through like she did with everything else. But now I've started to realize that I've had to be the one to step up and take ahold of my life and lead the way.

I stopped drinking, I started going to the gym, I started putting myself first. My needs, my wants, my feelings, my happiness all came before everything else.

Good things are coming my way, and I'm working hard for everything I'm getting and receiving. My life is going the way I want it to go, and it's not revolving around anyone else's wants or needs.

I've learned a lot about myself these past few months, and some of it I didn't like and some of it I do like. I have to constantly step back and ask myself, "is this something that is going to benefit you or hurt you?" and when I evaluate the situation I can adjust accordingly.

So just because it's the beginning of winter, the cold won't get me down.

xoxo
-S

Fall backward? No, leap forward.

Today, in my mind marks the new season of FALL!:) I love fall so much all the colors and of course THANKSGIVING (yummy yummy.) And now that I'm working at Jo-ann I see all the beautiful fabrics and all of the guests fall projects. It's so fun!

By far my favorite reason for Fall, is that it's the lead up to CHRISTMASSSSS!!!! Wooooo! Jessi and I already have plans for all our christmas decor! I bought some cute fabric to make a wreath and I couldn't be more excited about it!

This new season is marking my new life and journey with myself. My divorce was finalized on Friday and it's a little bitter sweet, but I know that this is what is best for both parties. Right now I know I'm on the right path I can feel it. I am getting done with school, I have AMAZING support, and awesome job that I love, and most of all I am in the gym 6 days a week with Mike and the changes in my body are amazing me day by day.

In the last 3 months I have found a fire within me I never knew I had. I have had to step back and own up to all my mistakes and small comings. And realizing this has "lit a fire under my butt" or so to speak.

I work harder at everything now, I am taking a GIANT leap forward and bursting out of this hole I've been dropped into. This small amount of darkness will NOT consume me.

xoxo.

Here are some progress pictures for your viewing comfort:)